Nothing Need Be Said
by Cadoodles
Summary: Megumi, Sano, and Yahiko think it's about time Kaoru fesses up to Kenshin about her 'true feelings'. Problem is, she refuses to listen. Will a simple walk change her mind? Sounds cliche, but I humbly ask that you read it all the way through. COMPLETE
1. Urgings and Aruguments

Disclaimer: Guess what! I don't have a disclaimer! You want to know why? I find them unnecessary. I don't need a disclaimer if I'm posting a story on If I 'owned' anything that I wrote about, I sure as hell wouldn't be posting it online, I'd be selling it for my own money. I've read the TOS and the rules and the story etiquette rules many times, and (correct me if I'm wrong) I haven't seen one rule that says you HAVE to post a disclaimer. I'm sorry if I seem a bit harsh, but why would an author deliberately go to a fanfiction site to sue someone? Why would the staff allow people to post stories if they weren't entirely sure it's all right with the authors or if they didn't have some sort of legal protection? To me it does not make very much sense. I understand disclaiming for products or songs and whatever you use in a fic because it is not part of the original story, but anything more I believe is just excessive. Sorry about that. If you don't agree with my opinions, just forget you read anything, enjoy my fic, and don't leave me any nasty reviews if it so pleases you. Now, before I dig my grave any deeper, on with the story!–Jackie

* * *

Heh. I lied. Another author's note before you start reading: In this fic I decided against using Japanese honorifics and phrases with the exception of Megumi's 'Ken-san' and Kenshin's 'Kaoru-dono' (I just find it so cute when he says it!) Because I have found lately that the constant 'de gozaru yo's (especially when it is not used correctly) and 'sessha' this and 'sessha' that I see everywhere in fics these days are starting to annoy me. Though I shouldn't be complaining, seeing as that is the original way Rurouni Kenshin was scripted. So, don't leave me any reviews telling me my story is wrong, m'kay? My, I'm opinionated today. Now (for real this time) on with the story!-Jackie

Megumi and Kaoru were kneeling across from each other on the verandah of the Kamiya dojo. The older woman frowned as she resumed her heated lecture. "You know it as well as I do; you must tell Ken-san your true feelings soon, before it is too late."

Kaoru glared and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "First of all," she began in a bad-tempered manner, "I have no idea what you are talking about Megumi." The doctor huffed impatiently. Kaoru continued, "Kenshin is my best friend, well more than that, he's the person I can rely on and trust the most. He already knows that. What 'true feelings' are you referring to?" she demanded, a little embarrassed to reveal so many inner emotions to her.

Before Megumi could answer however, the young dojo master continued, "Second, what do you mean, 'too late'? Why exactly are we in a hurry?"

Megumi slapped a hand to her forehead in exasperation. "You are so incredibly naïve! I'm leaving for Aizu in a couple of days, so I don't have much time." She looked intently at the girl across from her. "I know that everyone around here agrees with me when I say some closure must be made with this damn situation." She leaned forward so her message would be heard loud and clear. "Hurry up and tell Ken-san you love him so I can leave without regrets or worry hanging over my head, stupid girl!" she snapped.

Kaoru was rendered speechless as a violently red blush formed on her face.

When she finally found her words again, she stuttered, "I-it's not like that! I…I, don't l-l-love him." She said the words slowly, as if purely uttering them caused her agony. "Of course he's special to me…I like him, a lot…more than anyone…" She twiddled her fingers in her lap in an edgy manner. "…but that's not love!" she said disbelievingly, and then added feebly, "Is it?"

The other woman decided not to answer, but continued her speech. "You've never told him that much before, have you? He may not even know you have feelings for him at all," she stated plainly. "He could be completely unconscious to the whole state of affairs for all we know."

Unconvinced, Kaoru snorted at the preposterous idea of the man being unaware of anything for even a second. "Kenshin's never like--," she faltered as she recalled the scene this morning when the swordsman had tripped and fallen on his face while carrying a sack of rice to the kitchen, not knowing that he wasn't even in the right direction of the kitchen. Kaoru winced. "He couldn't! I mean, I've told him before that I never wanted him to leave. That I wanted him to stay…" She gazed down into her lap."…with me forever…isn't that enough?"

A shinai cut through the air to whack her on the back of the skull, causing tremendous pain for the adjutant master. "Of course it isn't, idiot!" a disgusted voice said matter-of-factly.

"OW!" she wailed, grabbing the weapon from her student and proceeding to thrash the ten-year-old with it. "That hurt, you little numbskull! And who said you could listen in on this conversation!" she violently inquired, delivering blow after excruciating blow on the kid's head.

When the hot-tempered girl finally ceased the beating and sat back down, Yahiko declared crossly, "I was trying to help." He glowered. "I was going to say that I don't think what you said was good enough, stupid. You have to do all that hug and kiss girly stuff for him to get it!"

Kaoru reddened once more and gripped the stolen shinai tightly, about to strike her student again, when a tall figure stepped from the shadows to join the discussion.

"Y'know Missy, the squirt has a point," the street fighter said casually.

Opening her mouth to demand where all these people were coming from, Kaoru was quickly hushed with a wave of the hand from Sanosuke. She obeyed, quietly steaming as he made his own statement. "You gotta know with this guy," Sano jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "he's absolutely oblivious to everything other than swords. The only thing he knows completely is swordsmanship…well, that and his not to kill and 'be nice to everyone' rule," he said diplomatically. "I say go with a more direct approach." He slammed his fist into the other hand, enthusiasm radiating from him. "Throw everything you've got at him, force him to understand!" Sano punched the air in triumph.

Megumi rolled her eyes at his aggressive tactics. "And I bet you know so much about relationships," she said mockingly. "This isn't some drunken thug fight, you fool. This is Kaoru's big confession. It's supposed to be special. People like you would never understand," the sharp-tongued doctor said harshly.

Sanosuke squatted to come face to face with her. His nerves twitched with suppressed anger as he spoke. "'People like me…'? What are you suggesting?"

"Only that mindless brutes like you are completely useless in such matters and should have the sense to bug off when they are not wanted," she replied with an unquestionable air of smugness.

As the two bickered endlessly, Yahiko decided to interject with his own opinions. "You're both wrong! You have to--,"

"What do you mean I'm wrong? It's the perfect strategy, kid," Sano interrupted, knocking his knuckles against the child's head.

"That plan is garbage! In this type of situation, it subtlety that's most important," Megumi reasoned.

Throughout the exchange, Kaoru's fury kept building until she could endure it no longer. She rose to her feet, towering above the quarreling group with Yahiko's shinai grasped menacingly in her right hand.

"Listen here!" she announced dangerously through clenched teeth. "I've had just about enough of you three maniacs dictating what goes on in my life! I don't know where or how you got the ridiculous idea that me and Kenshin are…" she struggled with the words before going on, "…like that, but I sure as hell am NOT going to confess anything of that sort to him!" The outraged young woman pointed her weapon at each person in the group. Her face was livid with rage as she spoke. "So you can all just take your stupid ideas and shove them--,"

"Kaoru-dono?" a gentle voice called from behind.

* * *

haha...cliffy.-Jackie 


	2. A Walk?

Hey y'all! Seem a little early for a second chappy? Ah well, whatever. My one-shot turned short story is coming along just peachy. Yeah this was supposed to be a one-shot, but it started getting a wee bit long and my friends were getting impatient and I was getting impatient with myself, so I decided to post it in small chapters. Don't worry, this fic won't be longer than ten chapters. Six at the most. My first six reviewers get special spotlight on this page above all else who reviews in the future. There are benefits to reviewing a newly-hatched story /wink/.

jeez: Thank you for your…um…heartfelt review and being my First Reviewer Ever for this fic (special capitalization privileges for you). You go gurl.

infynitistars: Yo Britts! Thanks for just being there from the beginning and pushing me to write even through my most lazy stages of life and for putting me on your favorites list and alert list first! You're the best Britts-bee-babe!

gabyhyatt: Your review, though short and sweet, is greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to write something for lil' ol' me.

Saitouu Ryuuji: Thanks for reading and taking the time to consider Kaoru's feelings (glare unlike some people in this fic…..m,s,y: What?). You are my Fourth reviewer (favorite number is four)! Go you for being the one who spell's good luck for me!

Kenshin'sgurl9: (raises hands in glory) I'm glad someone recognizes my motives for writing this story! God, I was so disappointed with Ruroken's ending that I decided to make my own fic that wouldn't stray from the general mood of the series. Thank you for being the reviewer who catches my eye!

Myks: Thank you for complimenting me on my character trueness (I know there's a better way to say it, but I can't think of it at the moment). It was really hard for me to write them completely in character, thank you for noticing my hard work!

To Haley: Even though you are slow to reviewing, you get a spot here anyways for being my best friend. /smile/

Ok, without further ado, on with the story!

* * *

"Kaoru-dono?" a gentle voice called from behind.

"EEP," she squeaked and dropped her assault tool. She recognized the voice easily. Kaoru turned slowly. "Uh, h-hi, Kenshin!" she said cheerfully, her composure fully regained. "Did you need something?"

_Please say you didn't hear any of that. Please say you didn't hear any of that, _Kaoru pleaded mentally.

"I heard the four of you arguing," he replied. "May I ask what it is that got you all so worked up?" he inquired, his voice full of curiosity.

Sano leaned over to Yahiko and whispered, "What'd I tell ya? Completely oblivious." The young swordsman nodded sadly in agreement.

A smile plastered to her face, Kaoru spoke rapidly, "What we were talking about…? Oh, no, nothing important. Not something you need to worry about, eh…ha ha," she laughed superficially and flapped a hand at him.

Kenshin frowned slightly, but let the matter go. "All right then," he said with a smile. "Should you need me, I will be taking the laundry down." (a/n: when are you not doing laundry? 0-ox: uh…) He turned to go.

"Oh, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.

"Yes?" he rotated his head to look at her.

"What's for dinner?"

"I believe we are having the fish we caught yesterday," he answered.

"Really?" she said eagerly. "I can't wait! I'm not very hungry right now, but I can just imagine how good it will be!" Her eyes sparkled at the idea of a delicious meal waiting for her.

He laughed quietly. "You seem excited."

"Of course I am! I hate to admit it Kenshin, but your meals are always the best!" she praised, beaming.

Kenshin's face softened. "And it's always good to know I make you happy."

Kaoru smiled back warmly as she replied, "Well, see you at dinner!"

"You too." He inclined his head a bit and departed.

The girl let out a sigh of relief and turned back to the other three.

They all stared at her skeptically.

"What?" she asked on impulse.

Yahiko fluttered his eyelashes in an overly girlish manner. "Oh, Kenshin!"

Sano grinned shamelessly. "Your meals are always the best!" he imitated. "For someone who denies having an interest in someone like you do, you sure have a funny way of showing it."

Even Megumi had the nerve to quip, "Honestly Kaoru, 'see you at dinner'? Couldn't you have thought of something a little more romantic?" she sighed. "Ken-san is wasted on you."

Kaoru flushed with anger and humiliation as she warned furiously, "Don't push it, Megumi! You guys are lucky he didn't hear any of that 'confession' crap." She made a fist to emphasize her point.

"And you're damn lucky we didn't spill the beans ourselves and make you face this thing here and now," Sano shot back.

"There's nothing to face!" she exclaimed, finally reaching her limit of exasperation, and stormed off.

A half-hour later, Kaoru was still wandering aimlessly around the dojo in a stubborn rage.

_Who the hell do they think they are?_ She thought angrily. _Trying to dictate my life and tell me how I feel._

_I know how I feel!_

_Kenshin is…_she hesitated.

_Like I said, the one person I can rely on for anything, _she reassured herself positively.

_But is that all? _she asked.

_He's more than a friend…_

_More than a best friend?_

_Yes, but… what do you call a relationship that is more than friendship?_

A part of her was quicker to answer this question than the rest of her was.

_Lov—?_

_It's not that! _

_We're friends! We're each other's best friends._

_Does he feel that way?_

_Kenshin…? _She thought hard. She came up with a sensible answer. _He's always so happy and kind to me, I suppose he feels the same._

Her thoughts wandered to what Sanosuke had said earlier.

_"He only understands his 'be nice to everyone' rule."_

_"…nice to everyone…"_

_"…everyone…"_

_Not just me…_

_What if he's only kind to you because you're part of this big group called 'everyone'?_ an unfamiliar part of her argued. _How do you know that the reason he is nice is because he feels he has to? What if he doesn't return these feelings of 'more than friendship'?_

_What if he leaves you someday?_ the voice said cruelly.

She stopped walking and placed a hand on her abdomen, feeling the sick ache of dread starting to creep into her stomach at the last thought.

_Why does that hurt so much?_ she asked herself.

Her eyes drooped as she thought in defeat, _Is this really love?_

_No! _she thought hurriedly, her shoulders erect with resolve. _It's just Megumi and the others confusing you._

_Damn them all, _she thought obstinately as she began to march once again. _They couldn't have just left me alone, could they? They had to start talking about feelings and confessions…_

_Damn them and their stupid ideas…_

Muttering curses at her 'friends' under her breath, the girl kept stomping on through the front yard. She could already feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. The fact that she was now a striding dangerously close to the household's well unknown to her. (a/n: for those of you who care about potential plot-holes, I'm making the well just a big hole in the ground. not like the type you see in snow white)

As her foot lifted up and in preparation for her next step, a small but steady hand shot out in front of Kaoru to stop her from the wet and unpleasant fall that awaited her.

Snapped out of her angry daydreams, she looked down at the arm obstructing her way and glanced up to find Kenshin staring down at her.

Too busy thinking of ways to get back at the trio that bothered her thoughts to remember that this red-head was the last person she wanted to see, Kaoru shot an annoyed reply. "What are you doing here?" She stared defiantly up at him. "And what is it, a crime to walk wherever I want? Why are you blocking me?" she asked rudely.

The swordsman 'oro'-ed to himself and responded apologetically, "I was just finishing the laundry out here when I saw you." (a/n: you just never quit, do you? -.-x: ….) Kaoru took a fleeting glance at the laundry basket balanced on his left hip and nodded.

Kenshin looked down at the space in front of the girl. "And I'm sorry, but was it really your intention to step into the well, Kaoru-dono?" he asked innocently.

She gazed downwards also and was shocked to find that the foot she had planned to set down on firm earth was instead dangling in the open air of the well. She stole a momentary glimpse up again to see Kenshin's smirking face.

"I didn't think so," he chuckled.

Kaoru looked away quickly to hide her embarrassment. "Sorry about that," she muttered. "And thanks."

"Not at all," he said brightly.

The girl straightened, trying to regain as much of her dignity as possible. As she removed her foot from its precarious position in the well, Kenshin asked, "Is everything all right, Kaoru-dono?" His concerned eyes bore into her uncomfortably. "You seem a bit…preoccupied."

"Well…" The dojo master diverted her gaze up at the sky overhead. "It's just something Megumi and the others said." She closed her eyes and sighed dejectedly. "Maybe I'm over-thinking it. I'm sorry for making you worry over something like this," she said remorsefully.

"It's fine," he answered, awaiting her usual explanation of recent events, frowning when none came.

The uneasy Kaoru (not ready to tell Kenshin her current embarrassing thoughts) let the silence stretch between them.

* * *

"Why the hell aren't they saying anything?" Yahiko demanded, peeking around the wood of the wall that was concealing the three of them.

He, Megumi, and Sanosuke were huddled beside the wall around the corner (much to their inner shame) listening intently to every word spoken between Kenshin and Kaoru. This gathering of eavesdroppers had resulted when the three of them, not satisfied with Kaoru's curt dismissal, had agreed to tail the girl, hoping she would seek out the swordsman herself. So far, however, the conversation was not going as they had anticipated.

_Come on, Kaoru,_ Megumi urged telepathically. _Say something!_

"I'll bet that after what we've—" he looked accusingly at the doctor sitting next to him, "mainly you, woman—said to her, the Little Miss can't think anymore when she's around Kenshin, much less have a worthwhile conversation," Sano murmured sensibly. "Without thinking impure thoughts, I mean," he added with a sly grin.

"Why you disgusting—!" Megumi stopped and swiveled her head in the opposite direction. "Hold on, I think Kaoru said something!"

* * *

"So, ah…um, well…see you later then!" Kaoru sputtered hastily, turning to leave.

* * *

To infuriated to speak, Megumi shot up from her sitting position. Her mind filled with thoughts of publicly mauling the younger girl as punishment for the incredibly dim and abrupt response, she marched towards the end of the building, only to be grabbed from behind by Sano. "What do you think you're doing! Let me go, you—," she was silenced by a large hand clamped over her mouth.

"Shut it, Ms. Vixen. You'll blow the cover we worked so hard to maintain," he smiled with fake sweetness down at her.

Megumi's only answer to that was to kick and flail her arms harder in a desperate attempt to free herself, all the while glaring down in disgust at the hand that secured her mouth.

In between the doctor's muffled outbursts of rage and Sano's feeble attempts at hushing her, Yahiko hissed, "Shut up, you two! Kenshin's talking!" At this, the group quieted down and eavesdropped, instantly absorbed.

* * *

Kaoru stopped moving and rotated her head. "Did you say something?" she inquired.

"A walk," he repeated bluntly. "Perhaps that would ease your mind," he said with optimism. He then asked lightheartedly, "Would you like to go for a walk with me?"

She blinked at Kenshin in surprise. _A walk?_ _That's so…simple. _she said to herself. _And what does he think I've been doing for the past thirty-something minutes?_

As if he read her mind, Kenshin added, "A walk around the dojo isn't nearly as refreshing as a walk around the city, yes?"

"I guess, but--," Kaoru, about to decline the offer (a stroll with Kenshin was the last thing she wanted Megumi to be blabbering about), made the mistake of looking at his face. The careless smile that played on his lips and the eagerness of his eyes tugged at something in her heart. Reluctantly she felt herself relax.

"Why not?" She exhaled loudly. "Let's go for a walk."

* * *

Haha, and this is where the walk gets put into play. We'll just have to see how this turns out, won't we? Hardy har, I'm posting chapters too quickly….when I stop putting them so close together, y'all faithful readers will start complaining, eh? Ah well. See ya next time!-Jackie 


	3. Time to Let Go

Sup' peeps. Another chapter for y'all cuz I love you guys oh so much…..okay, so it's a ploy to get more reviews…..I'm a friggin leech. I have to warn you that this may be the last post I do for a while cuz I kinda need to write more (and I'm going on a trip with my friends :P).

I was intending to mention this in my previous author's notes, but I sorta…well…forgot. Kenshin usually says 'this one' (in the manga) or 'sessha' in his normal speech, but I decided to change that because some things just sound better if he said 'I'. Example:

"I love you." Vs. "This one loves you."

Not that I'm going to use this sentence (way to cliché and overused), but you understand my point, yes? Okay, on with the chappy!-Jackie

* * *

"A walk! How lame!" Yahiko cried out.

Megumi and Sano slapped their hands to the child's mouth instantly.

The lady doctor hissed threateningly into Yahiko's ear, "If they find out we're here…"

"…I'll pound your chubby little face into the ground," Sano finished with equal hostility. Yahiko (slightly enraged by that "chubby" remark) grudgingly became quiet.

When the group was sure that Kenshin and Kaoru were well out of the gates and out of earshot, Sano stood up decisively. "I say we tail them!" he proposed, setting a fist into his other hand, his mind made up.

Megumi rose next to him. "This is definitely a chance that we can't miss."

Hearing the silence stretch between them, the couple snapped their heads downward at the mute Yahiko. "Well?" they insisted edgily.

The kid simply stared up at them with disinterest. "Do we really have to follow them? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Of course we need to follow! We need to find out what they're doing," Megumi said evidently.

"Yeah, what do you think we've been hiding and listening in for?" Sano interjected.

Yahiko muttered sardonically, "I think you two need to get a life."

Megumi held him down as Sano punched Yahiko severely.

* * *

(a/n: why does everyone feel the need to hit poor yahiko/tear/)

Crossing the threshold of the dojo's gate into the street, Kenshin paused and glanced back in surprise.

"Something wrong, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked a few steps ahead.

Kenshin turned back to the girl in front of him and resumed his pace. "No. Nothing at all," he replied, innocently ginning.

Kaoru sniffed in disbelief, but began to walk once more.

_Those three are unbelievable_, Kenshin thought to himself.

Kaoru broke the silence with her laid-back voice. "So, where were you planning on having us walk to?" she inquired loftily. She looked over her shoulder at him while she laced her hands behind her head in a laidback manner.

"Oro?" he said at the unexpected question. "I guess I didn't think about that when I asked," he admitted.

Kaoru rolled her eyes at him. She placed her hands on her hips and eyed him with slight irritation. "So, besides wandering aimlessly around the city, you don't have a plan?"

"Is it all right that I'm making it up as I go?" he said with a guilty smile.

She snorted. Suddenly an idea came to her. A very…Megumi-inspired…idea.

She steeped closer to him and purred playfully, "I don't know. That all depends on where you take me and what you do."

* * *

Sanosuke whistled softly. "Who knew the little Miss could be such a tease," he said. "Good thing we left the kid back at the dojo, I don't know if he'd have wanted to see this."

Megumi clenched her fists and grit her teeth. "That little…she's acting like it's a date, yet she refuses to admit that she may like him a bit," she spat harshly.

* * *

Kenshin, taken aback slightly by Kaoru's uncharacteristic reply, said awkwardly, "O-oro, I suppose we could go wherever you would like to go."

Kaoru sighed and reverted back to her normal self. "Relax, Kenshin. Can't you take a joke?" she reassured the swordsman. "I don't really care where we walk to."

_I knew it, _she told herself. _He doesn't like me that way; Megumi's just being her weird self. _Though her thoughts were meant to restore her confidence in the fact that she was right, she couldn't help but experience a bit of disappointment.

_Disappointment at what? _the girl found part of herself asking.

_Just leave me alone, will you? I don't feel like answering confusing questions at the moment,_ she ordered the voice tiredly. Her internal selves didn't argue.

In an attempt to mask her inner conflicts, Kaoru put on one of her usual bright faces. "Why don't we go to the Akabeko? I bet Tae and Tsubame would be glad to see us," she said with false optimism, trying not to think of what the noise and smells would do to her already unpleasant headache. She was about to walk on ahead, when she felt Kenshin's hand rest on her shoulder, causing her to stop and look back slowly. She was suddenly aware that goose bumps were forming on the skin where his hand rested.

"Y-yes?" she spoke uncertainly, startled by how the presence of his hand seemed to affect her today.

"Please excuse me, but I do not think the Akabeko would be best at the moment," he stated.

The black-haired girl quirked an eyebrow. "Um, why?" she asked, thoroughly curious. She was surprised at his quick refusal.

"You do not seem like you want to go there is all," he replied airily. He proceeded to steer her away from the street that led to the restaurant.

Kaoru struggled to maintain her façade of brightness. "What makes you say that, Kenshin?" she said, her grin never faltering. "I think a meal at the Akabeko would hit the spot right now."

He gave her a knowing look as he remarked, "Even when you ate a large breakfast less than an hour ago? I believe your exact words then were, 'I'm so stuffed; I don't think I'll be able to eat for another week,' Strange that your appetite has changed so quickly…" he trailed off with inquisitiveness.

She inhaled sharply. _Oh crap, _she thought. She'd forgotten she'd said that.

The swordsman leaned in close to her ear. "If you wish to hide your anxieties from me, I would suggest you plan more carefully and do not use the same face each time," he whispered, a smile in his voice.

Kaoru flushed brightly. "That's not what I was doing!" she shouted indignantly.

"If that is what you would like to think, then I will not stop you," he responded calmly.

Kaoru swung her arm to her left, trying to sock the red-head in the face for his nauseatingly good-mannered way of teasing her. He merely ducked under her arm and trotted up the path, chuckling good-naturedly all the while.

"Why you…!" she cried out in frustration, watching him stroll ahead. She stared back at the road behind her, contemplating going to the Akabeko just to spite him.

The sickening happy voice that was Kenshin broke into her thoughts. "Ah yes. I met Miss Tae in the market yesterday. She wished for me to inform you that the Akabeko will be closed all this week due to a family matter. She is sorry, but she won't be able to visit you this weekend as she had intended," he notified her thoughtfully.

"What?" she cried in shock. "But she…" She noticed Kenshin was already walking away and whistling to himself.

Grinding her teeth in frustration, she clenched her fists to her sides and hurried up the road behind him.

_Why that spacey know-it-all jerk, _Kaoru thought furiously as she caught up to him.

* * *

Megumi giggled in silence while Sano grinned shrewdly. "Those two are really something, aren't they?" the fist-fighter remarked. For a moment, the woman next to him didn't respond; then Sano heard her heave a sigh of laced with wistfulness. Glancing down he saw a single tear form in the corner of Megumi's eye. "Hey, something wrong?" he asked, surprised at the sudden change of emotion.

The doctor blinked out of her daze, but kept her stare facing forward. "Sorry, I just….had a passing thought," she said reflectively. Her face softened in mournful silence.

"About?" Sano was astonished by this quieter, shadowed side of the cynical doctor.

Her eyes glazed over with unshed tears as she gazed into the horizon. "This may sound silly, but..." Though trails of water slid silently down the woman's face, her voice was steady as she said with finality, "This is probably the day…I finally give Kenshin up for good."

Sano looked down at her intently before speaking. "You really had a thing for him, didn't you?" he said with sudden understanding. "I guess you weren't just teasing all the time."

"I suppose…but it's time to...to stop living in dreams." Megumi turned to him, showing a weak smile. Her eyes released a last tear before she said, "I never was the one he wanted, was I?"

They stared at each other for a long moment until Megumi finally faced the street ahead of them again, rubbing her wrists over her watering eyes. "Let's go," she said, a genuine smile growing on her face. "We have to see how this ends!"

* * *

"Hey! Since we can't go to the Akabeko, just where are we going anyway?" she demanded, making no effort at all to hide her impatience at his secretiveness.

"Hm?" Kenshin scratched his head thoughtfully, looking from side to side. "Well first," he said as he sought the right direction. Finding what he was looking for, he walked down a dark path that led into a small wood. "We turn down here." He strolled away again, leaving her behind.

"Wait!" the girl shouted, jogging to catch him. "Why do you keep doing that? Walking away and forgetting me…it's really a pain."

Kenshin glanced back at her. "Perhaps if Kaoru-dono were to keep up…?" he suggested jokingly.

She glared. "You know that's not what I meant."

He voiced a quiet laugh. "Of course," he said. "I'm sorry to seem like I'm trying to lose you, but it's really necessary that we hurry. Even though it's noon, the light only lasts a short time in this part of the forest." He took a quick look at the woodland roof above. "The trees are so thick here, it'd be hard to see anything," he informed her.

Kaoru gave him a questioning look. "But what are we supposed to see here? I don't see anything but bushes, trees, more bushes, and--." She gasped as she rounded a corner with Kenshin.

In a clearing stood a majestically tall cherry tree.

* * *

Ok, well that's it for now, my adoring fans (ha!). You'll probably see the next chapter within two weeks or so, kay? How did you guys like my dramatic Megumi? I wrote that cuz it seems that a lot of people out there have the idea that Megumi's just a brainless whore out to get Kenshin to piss off Kaoru. In my opinion:

THAT'S A LOAD OF GRADE-A CRAP.

Megumi's just as profound a character as any other in ruroken. Sometimes, more so. She lost all her family when she was little. Because of that, she's been alone most of her life. When she thinks all is lost, she's saved by Kenshin and her hope is restored. He's the first person that made her feel like she wasn't alone, but she knows she'll never be able to have him. That's some deep stuff there, people! I just don't think it's fair that so many people downplay her character when it's clear that she was created to be so much more than that. I hope that my small tribute to Megumi will change some of your close-minded opinions of her. Ok, until next time!-Jackie


	4. The Dam is Breaking

Wassup y'all! Got another chappy for yeh. I have to apologize it is quite short, but I like having my chappies end at particular points. I also have to warn you, I found this chapter spectacularly hard to write, cuz I'm never too happy with my dramatic scenes (I'm a comedy and action girl at heart). I've had to revise it many times and I'm still not one-hundred percent satisfied with it, but I'm afraid I'm drawing this fic out way longer than I had anticipated and figured it's time I stop being too critical and just release the stupid thing.

Oh yes, and before I forget, for those of you who reviewed my last chapter and commented on Megumi:

Thanks for all of them! Although one seemed to be missing my point (haha, if they don't get it, I'm not going to explain it :P), I appreciated them all. Okay, enough yapping on my part. On with the chappy!-Jack

* * *

In a clearing stood a majestically tall cherry tree.

Dumbstruck by the sight, Kaoru stopped in her tracks.

In full bloom, tiny pink flowers burdened each branch in fluffy mounds. So heavy were the limbs of the tree that some drooped under the load to form feathery canopies. Delicate petals fell from their high perches to be carried away in swirling arcs on the warm currents of air.

Kaoru reached out a shaky hand and caught one of the floating petals. She gazed at it closely before whispering in disbelief, "Cherry blossoms? But how_…_?" She took a couple slow tentative steps forward. "The cherry blossom season is well past over. Why is this one_—_?"

"I guess this particular tree decided to bloom late this year," Kenshin said at the back of her. "This area gets so little light; I suppose it wouldn't be a surprise that the plants here are a season late."

Her eyes still wandering in awe all around the beautiful tree, Kaoru asked in amazement, "How in the world did you find this place?"

"Um…luck?" he answered unconvincingly.

Kaoru let the topic go, captivated by the dancing petals and the flawless flowers glowing in the dimness. In all her life she couldn't remember seeing a cherry tree so tall or overloaded with flowers as this one was. She wandered over to the foot of the magnificent tree and sat underneath. Letting her head rest upon the bark of the trunk, she stared up at the blossoms falling like snow in the soft summer breeze. The girl sighed with content; for the moment all her troubles were forgotten.

Kenshin knelt and sat down next to her. "It's nice, yes?" he inquired placidly.

"It's more than nice, it's…amazing," she breathed, still watching the branches above.

Suddenly remembering his presence, she snapped out of her reverie and twisted her head to look at him. "Why are you doing all this for me?" _Does he…? _she thought with a little hope.

"'Why'?" He seemed surprised. "To help you take your mind off things, of course. Don't you remember?"

Her eyes widened and she was about to exclaim in offense when she quickly caught herself. "Oh…oh right," she said, recalling all that had happened earlier that the sight of the cherry blossoms had made her forget. Again, the feeling of unhappiness began to weave its way into her mind.

_Why do I keep feeling this way?_ she thought in perplexity._ It's not like he ever said anything…like that to me before. Why am I expecting more from him all of a sudden? _she interrogated herself sternly.

_Is it 'all of a sudden'? _some portion of her being asked.

Confused by the question, she blinked (mentally). _Huh?_

_Are you sure these emotions are 'all of a sudden'? Haven't you always wanted more? _the voice inquired. Kaoru recognized this particular voice from earlier, and wondered vaguely where it had come from.

_What? Why in the world would I—?_

_I bet she really is secretly crazy about him, _another voice said mercilessly.

_No! _she said furiously, stunned that parts of her own self had started to gang up on her. _Because I—_

_You've proved before that you'd follow him anywhere, even to the ends of the earth if he chose to go there, _the first voiced stated with a severely practical tone. _Is that not love?_

She was about to deny it once again, when many more new and unfamiliar voices joined the others.

_She's right!_

_Why haven't you taken any action yet?_

_Maybe she's scared. What if he doesn't like her back?_

_Why wouldn't he like her? She's brave, smart, pretty—_

_Not as pretty as some of the other girls he's met, I'm sure._

The voices continued to argue amongst themselves, despite Kaoru's urgings to shut up. Kaoru became weaker by the second as her main inner voice was swallowed up the growing sea of commands, scoldings, and arguments that now rushed freely throughout her mind. The walls she had placed in her psyche to keep such thoughts away had crumbled against the confused and uncertain mixed emotions that had formed in her heart over the previous hour. She tried unsuccessfully to push the feelings and thoughts back to their corners, but they refused to restrained now. Amidst the shouts and demands for some action on her part, Kaoru's main voice cried desperately for quiet.

_Stop telling me what to do! You sound just like Megumi!_

The yelling continued. Her briefly alleviated headache had started to flare up again.

_Please! I don't want to listen anymore! I'm tired._

She clutched her head with a hand in an attempt to relieve her throbbing temples. The headache's pain was becoming extremely hard to bear.

The voices did not cease.

She was not sure how long she could keep from screaming out loud in agony, when a gentle, caring voice cut through the violent flood to break her out of her trance.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Immediately the shouting stopped.

Immensely relieved at the blissful silence that had generated, she opened her eyes to see what had saved her from the horrible arguments inside her head.

Kenshin stared down at her in puzzlement.

Suddenly realizing how strange she must have looked a moment ago, she bent her head and she said rapidly, "Sorry, just, eh…" She searched for an answer that was not a total lie."…trying to make a headache go away…ha ha, that must have looked weird for a second there."

When he did not answer, she diverted her gaze upward.

It was still Kenshin, but a look of deep sorrow weighed his usually bright eyes down. His mouth was set in a grim line, no smile to be found.

"Kenshin?" she said indecisively, immediately worried.

A few soundless seconds passed before he answered.

"Will you not tell me?"

Caught off guard by the question and the undeniable distress on his face, Kaoru unthinkingly feigned another happy appearance. "Tell you what?"

His joyless expression remained. "Your mind is troubled. You attempt to hide it under false smiles and good spirits, but I can see it." Kaoru didn't answer, but simply stared back helplessly, for once, at a loss for what to do. "Will you not tell me what's on you mind?" he asked sincerely.

She kept looking up at him, instantly hating herself for being the cause of his sadness. "I-it's not that I don't want to. It's just…" Kaoru bit her lip as she stared down fixedly at a blade of grass her fingers fiddled with. She closed her eyes and counted to five. "I'm..." She stopped and frowned.

_Afraid?_

_Of what he might think?_

_That's ridiculous! When did I start to care this much? Why am I so mixed up now? What—? _

_No…_

_No more._

_I refuse to have another battle with myself over…over him._

Kaoru stood up hastily. "I'm sorry. I have to leave." She began to walk away, when she felt something on her shoulder.

For the third time that morning, Kenshin's quiet hand had reached out to stop her.

And for the third time that morning, her movement was brought to a standstill.

* * *

I apologize again. It was very short. Gah….something during Kaoru's "inner battle" did not feel quite right. If it was confusing to you, here's a small run-through. In my story, all the time she's known him, Kaoru's been bottling up certain feelings so that they do not intrude on their friendship. Megumi has that talk with her, forcing her to think about the things she's refused to listen to before. In the scene, these built-up thoughts are finally flooding her. I hope that clears things up. Ah yes, and I'm sorry if my simple explanation of why the tree is late is completely wrong (not much of a science person….okay not much of a common sense person in general). Okay, I'm tired and wishing to go to bed…..until next time!-Jackie 


	5. Tears

I know it's been a hell of a long time since I've updated, but part of the reason that I haven't posted is because of one thing:

THE LACK OF REVIEWS.

I got a total of ONE review on the last chapter (which was from my friend Haley, may she be blessed a thousand times over. and I'm not excluding you Britts, you've already reviewed twice, may you also be blessed a thousand times over) in like, what? A month? And that last chapter was a pain in the ass to write! So I've kinda been freaking out for the past couple weeks. "Is my story that bad? Are they all busy? Have they lost interest? Is the story too clichéd/reads through frantically/ What the hell is going on?" Yeah. That's basically what kept going through my mind as I struggled to write this chapter. I don't know if I've made this clear or not, so let me get the message out. I'm a REVIEW-WHORE. Sad to say, but that's the truth. I live on praise! One of my selfish reasons to write, but hey.

Short chapter. Deal with it; I'm not in a good mood :P

/complete mood swing/ But please review! - haha…..hahah….hahahaha….. /collapses in maniac laughter/

Doctor: What you see before you is insanity resulting from the dreadful condition commonly known as "reviewer neglect".

**REVIEWS? WHERE?

* * *

**

"Damn it all, I can't see anything through these trees," Sano grumbled in annoyance. "Are you sure we're going the right way, woman?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Megumi glared with resentment at his back as she pushed a branch from her face and tried to keep up. "And in case you've forgotten, I do have a name." she informed him hotly.

Sanosuke seemed to pay no mind as he continued to move branches and brambles aside for them to pass. (a/n: hey, how come you didn't have to push crap aside? - x: um…luck?)

A few more seconds went by when he said victoriously, "Ha! Found em'. Looks like you were paying attention after all, Vixen! Take a peek." He set his right hand on her back and pushed her forward to stand in front of a hole in the bushes made by Sano.

Choosing to ignore the physical contact and the fact that he called her the 'v' word again, Megumi peered at the scene taking place near the grand tree. What she saw seemed to surprise her. "What's going on?"

* * *

Soundless moments passed. If not for the summer breeze that stirred the couple's hair and clothing, time appeared to be stopped. Finally Kaoru's trembling voice emerged.

"What's wrong with me? This is…insane!" she said in a confused tone that was barely below a shout. "Why can't I just walk away like I know I could normally? Hell, I can't even think normally anymore!" To her horror, she could feel her eyes starting to burn as the words that had been suppressed all day began to tumble from her mouth.

"First, Sanosuke and Megumi and Yahiko chew me out and then all I can think about—all my mind will let me think about—are emotions and feelings and 'How do I feel?' or 'How should I feel?'." She put a palm to her eye; it had begun to water. She managed to keep the tears from falling, but the task of stopping her mouth from running on was a feat she couldn't muster the strength for.

"And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop it! Voices that I never even knew existed kept telling me 'Go for it!' and 'Take action!' and I just didn't want to listen to them anymore," she gushed uncontrollably. "I've just become more and more confused, and I don't know what to do anymore; it's all so infuriating because no matter how I look at it, it all seems to be caused by one person; not Sano or Yahiko, I can't even blame it on Megumi! This all because of…because of…!"

"Me?" he asked quietly. His hand fell away.

"W-wait, no!" she stammered quickly as she turned around. She bit the inside of her cheek in humiliation at her outburst. Bowing her head she mumbled lamely, "That's not what I meant to say." She let her head hang; waiting for the judgment she knew was coming.

After a few seconds, he said, "From what you've said, I can only imagine it must have taken a great deal of strength to endure an incident such as yours." His attitude wasn't at all unkind, but Kaoru could feel the stiffness in his tone. She kept her gaze fixed on the ground.

"I also realize it takes an even greater amount of strength to endure the awkwardness of admitting it to someone else." Kenshin's smile was thin and ironic. "Especially when that person is the cause of said incident," he added shrewdly.

Ashamed, Kaoru didn't interrupt. Suddenly she heard the sound of Kenshin's soft footsteps on the grass-covered ground leading away from her, and she raised her head to see him walking away. Still too guilt-filled to say a word, she followed like a silent shadow.

"I apologize if I made you feel as if you were obligated to tell me that." The swordsman stopped at the other side of the blooming tree and seemed to examine the flowers on one branch as he said, "Since I pushed you to tell me something that was obviously difficult to reveal, I think it's only fair that I should be equally honest with you." Still looking away from her, he continued, "I'll tell you something that's been on my mind for some time now."

Kaoru stopped a couple paces away from him, stunned by this new concept. _He's been worried about something? _Where she had felt guilt only moments ago, there was now surprise and curiosity.

Kenshin seemed not to notice as he gazed into the pale pink flowers. "How long has it been since I first arrived here?" he said conversationally. "Six months? A year? I honestly can't recall." Kaoru looked on as he tenderly plucked a cherry blossom from the branch and let it rest in his palm. He smiled softly.

"All I know is that ever since I came here, I've never been so wonderfully at ease as I am now with you and everyone. I've never…had so many friends." Though the expression on his face did not alter, Kaoru detected the slightest change in his eye. She knew at once something unpleasant had entered his thoughts.

"I am grateful that I have been given the chance to know so many people this well…but," His fingers closed lightly around the tiny flower in his hand. "I've also come to find that it is a double edged sword. The more people I associate with and become close to, the more danger I put them in. I cannot hide the fact that I still have many enemies, enemies that could easily use these people for their own advantages." He was no longer smiling.

"And no matter how hard I may try to protect them," he said as he unclenched his hand to reveal the untouched flower once more. "Someone will always be hurt."

Kaoru watched in disappointment as a breeze ripped the delicate petals in different directions and sent them flying away to an unseen place. All that was left in Kenshin's palm was a forlorn-looking piece of the stem. The swordsman angled his hand and let the piece fall to the earth, where it lay it its petal-less misery. He turned away from it; his back now facing Kaoru.

The gesture suddenly made her very uneasy. She knew these words. At least, they had a similar ring to words she had heard before. Words that now made her feel that familiar anxious fear at what she hoped wouldn't be what Kenshin would say next.

"It is because of this that I now know that the best thing for you—for everyone, to keep you all from harm's reach would be…" He hesitated, and Kaoru's eyes widened in horror and realization. She held her breath, but she knew now it wouldn't do any good.

"I would have to leave…and never come back."

It was only then that Kaoru let her repressed tears roll down her cheeks.

* * *

A cliffy for all you to think over and freak out about. Just like I freaked out over your lack of reviews/wail/

Doctor/smack/ Don't take your own insecurities out on the fans! Think about it: if you complain too much, they won't review!

Me: oh yeah…./twitch/ I don't know how much longer I can take this!

Doctor: Take pity on this poor girl and leave a review!

Me:..review…/twitch/ **REVIEW? WHERE?**

It just occurred to me that Kaoru's whole "there are voices in my head telling me what to do" thing could be taken for schizophrenia….hm.


	6. Is this the end?

**LAST CHAPTER.** Can you believe it? My first finished story! I'm sorry, this update has come WAY WAY WAY too late, and for that, I apologize. But I don't apologize too much because hey, this is one kickass chapter, yo. Finally! A single chapter of mine reaches the double digits in page number! I have to say though, I worked incredibly hard to make this fic the absolute best it could be. I revised it at LEAST ten times. For once, I am proud to say I have no regrets with this story. I hope you will review when you are done reading...in fact, I insist upon it. INSIST! quick note Sano uses the word 'snog' in this chapter. I know I know, tis a British word I am quite aware. But seriously people, is there a word better suited for him to use? The answer, at least as far as I could find, was of course not. Anyway, for the final time I say: On with the story!

* * *

The words echoed hauntingly in her mind.

_What if he leaves you someday?_

Kaoru's body felt chilled despite the warm summer air.

_I would have to leave...and never come back._

Her eyes spilled yet more trails of water. Kenshin's figure stood stoically as his clothes rustled in the wind.

She felt the same paralyzing stillness starting to weigh on her body.

_It's going to end just like last time, isn't it? _she thought as she looked on at Kenshin in sorrow. Her eyes lowered sullenly to the ground. _He'll leave...and I'll just stand here like a pathetic statue... _Kaoru shut her eyes tightly, frustrated with herself.

_Have I always been this weak? _she criticized herself, frowning at her thoughts. _How could it be that just a couple words from someone could leave me so helpless? _she thought disapprovingly. Her tears diminished for a moment as she reflected on this question.

_If Megumi were to know that this happened, I'd really be in for it. She would probably scream her head off at me for letting him get away without so much as a word. _(Which, incidentally, was exactly what Megumi was doing at that very moment; of course, her rants could not be heard, as she was held back and muffled by Sano) _She really would hate me...just sitting here like the idiot I am._

_Is that what I am? _Her hands constricted into fists. _An idiot? _she thought critically. She saw Megumi's face in her mind's eye. The sides of the woman's mouth curled downward into a hate-filled scowl as her narrowed eyes glared down at her. It would have been the picture of utmost loathing if not for the way her eyes sparkled with tears of disappointment.

Kaoru couldn't stand that face. The face that Megumi seemed to reserve especially for her, Kaoru had hoped she'd forgotten it. Most of all, it was the face that told her she was in the wrong. And she hated it.

_No...not this time._

She opened her eyes and glared intensely at Kenshin's back. _This is one thing I won't let Megumi berate me for._

Running on a sudden surge of determination, she fought off the invisible force that had restrained her and began to move forward in Kenshin's direction.

_I would have to leave...and never come back. _His repeated words in her mind caused Kaoru's newfound resolve to falter. Her steps slowed. Kaoru furrowed her brow against the mental onslaught and forced her legs to move at their original speed once more.

_I won't let him._

Now standing directly behind him, Kaoru slowly reached out and held onto the fabric of his sleeve in one hand. The strength she had generated just seconds before was draining away more and more as doubt pushed its way back into her thoughts. It took several tries before sound finally emerged from her throat.

"Listen...I'm sorry I said you were the cause of my problems before; I didn't...I didn't mean any of it," she said softly, her voice betraying the fear she tried to hide. Her shoulders began to quiver. _Please, listen to me._

"Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin started. The sound of her name from his mouth caused Kaoru's hands to tremble as well. She closed her eyes to block it out.

"No!" she cut him off and used her other hand to pull herself even closer to him. "Don't say it! Don't you dare say it...Don't say it's for the best; that's a lie. How can it be? How can it be if..." she trailed off feebly and bowed her head as her hands shuddered. "How can it be for the best if you're not with us?"

Kaoru thought she felt Kenshin's body position shift from the almost unnoticeable tug on the cloth that was still grasped in her hand. For a moment, she wondered if he was actually taking her words into consideration. However, fearing that she may only be deluding herself, she didn't open her eyes. She searched her mind desperately for something to say.

"I...I know you think you're doing us a favor, but...to say that you're leaving...because you're afraid of what could happen to us, that's—that's just stupid!" she said bluntly. Kaoru winced at her uninspiring choice of words, but continued. "We've all been together so long...we know so much about each other now. You want to change all that? Because you're scared of the dangers?" she questioned. "We know what kind of danger we could be in. I mean, you've told me so many times I could hardly forget it."

Again, she wondered if he was paying her any attention, or if he was merely keeping quiet due to his natural politeness before finally having enough and leaving her alone in the wood. She decided it was better not to think about it. "But, it doesn't matter how many times you say it, I don't think I've changed my mind once. All the time, you say my life's at risk, and I just nod and smile and say how I will be careful so you won't worry. But truthfully, I can't tell you how much I just..." She stopped and thought for a moment. Then a laugh fell from her lips, so thin it was almost carried away with the wind. "I guess I just...couldn't care less."

She inhaled slowly, trying to compose her thoughts as best she could. "I know that sounds selfish, but...I'm perfectly happy with the way things are now," she whispered.

"I'm happy waking up, knowing you're in the kitchen making another breakfast I know I'll stuff my face with. I'm happy to see you watching with interest from outside at how I train Yahiko in the afternoons." She tried to reflect this happiness in her voice, but only the urge to cry again welled up within her. _I've got to be strong._ Attempting to banish the feeling, she quickly resumed with what she was saying.

"I'm happy when I see you doing the chores around the house, because I know that, without you, I'd never be able to manage. I'm even happy when I see you smile over the stupid things I do all the time." She remembered how he teased her with his patronizing grin when she had almost fallen into the well that morning. She remembered how he had seen right through her attempt to hide her worries and how he had laughed when she loudly denied his claims.

"We're so close...I don't want to be apart!" she pleaded. "If you leave..." she paused, the words she had just spoken bleeding into her being, restraining her speech momentarily.

_If you leave..._

She imagined how life would be from now on if everything she loved were to be taken away.

Awakening to the sound of silence.

Looking over her shoulder only to find an empty doorway.

No more carefree whistling as he does the laundry.

Never feeling those goosebumps on her shoulder a second time.

No more tenderly made food.

No more politely covered laughs at her blunders.

No more smiles.

No more Kenshin.

_No Kenshin..._

The thoughts were like tendrils; slowly working it's unpleasantness throughout her until the message was clear. The absolute desolation of the life that would come to pass should Kenshin fail to return that day bore down upon her existence.

It crushed her.

And she felt ashamed that she wasn't strong enough to hold back a new flow of tears.

"Don't you realize?" she asked, her voice finally breaking with the small droplets that escaped her firmly closed eyelids. She took another step forward and rested her cheek against Kenshin's back as she murmured, "If you leave...I'll never be happy again.

"I just want to be near you. Always."

After that, Kaoru couldn't help but hold her breath. She wasn't sure what to do next. She could feel the warm moisture pool under her cheek where hot tears had seeped into the fabric. She clenched it harder.

So concentrated was she on maintaining her iron grasp that she almost didn't feel the tiny pinpricks dotting over her right hand. She lifted an eyelid a fraction to find out what was causing the different but not quite unfamiliar feeling on her skin. Blinking away the haze of tears, she could make out the faint image of another hand atop her own.

Kenshin's hand.

Kaoru gasped and shut her eyes again. _Even if he tries to pry me off, I'm not going to stop holding on, _she thought as she tightened her grip, fingers sinking harder into the material like a silent promise.

"Kaoru-dono," he said. "Do let go, please." His manner was friendly as he made an effort to calm the girl that held onto him with such great force. Kaoru, however, wasn't to be assuaged so easily.

"No! I refuse," she declared stubbornly.

"Kaoru-dono—"

"No!"

She heard him sigh in exasperation. "You're going to tear it, you know."

"I don't care if this stupid, ratty thing rips to shreds; I'm not going to let you go!"

In her head, Kaoru could see him rolling his eyes at her as he would on any other day as he said rationally, "You're being unreasonable."

"And do you think I give a—" she stopped abruptly.

_Wait._

_This...this isn't right. His tone...? It's almost...cheerful. _She went over the situation in her mind, but was unable to understand it. With the caution of a deer, she opened her eyes gradually to look up at Kenshin's face, which was gazing at her over his shoulder.

Kaoru blinked in confusion. _He can't be...? _She waited for her vision to clear completely.

There was no mistake; he was smiling at her. No sadness at his supposed departure, no anger at her doggedness, just...

"Kenshin?"

Unconsciously, the girl's grip loosened and slid off its place on his arm. She didn't notice that Kenshin's hand did not leave hers. Suddenly, as two and two came together in Kaoru's brain, a mortifying realization dawned on her. "You're not going to go...are you?" It was half a question, half a statement. She lowered her eyes, humiliated with herself. "You were never going to go." _Was he leading me on the entire time?_

He shook his head guiltily. "Not...exactly," he said awkwardly. "Also," the corners of his mouth curved a little sharper. Then, as if he couldn't help himself, he said, "I did not wish to interrupt your rather...heartfelt speech." Kaoru's eyes widened and heat spread over her face rapidly as she recalled exactly what she had said just minutes earlier.

"I...um, well, it-it was a spur of the moment thing, okay! It must have...must have been the panic talking," she sputtered indignantly, embarrassment overriding her anger at Kenshin for the moment. She stared forcefully in any direction that didn't lead to seeing his face.

"Oh really," he said in his usual lofty tone. "I suppose that little statement about your wanting to be around me was myth, then?"

Kaoru blushed even harder and tried to pull away, only to find a moment later that she could not, as her hand was held captive by Kenshin's. Now facing her, she could see that Kenshin was grinning somewhat waywardly at her.

_He's been teasing me way too often today, _the girl thought, feeling her fury rise.

* * *

"Well, looks like it was a false alarm," Sano said casually as he released his hold on the previously murderous doctor. She sunk to the ground, weak-kneed. Unlike Megumi, the former street-fighter was not phased a bit by the threat of departure. This was because, also unlike Megumi, he was not afraid of physically dragging the rurouni back home by his hair should the need arise.

"But it...sounded so real," Megumi whispered, still shaken. Sano glanced down at her and then back at Kenshin. He gave his samurai friend a puzzled look through the bushes.

"What's going on in that head of yours, I wonder..." he murmured.

* * *

Kaoru scowled at him, hoping that would wipe the obnoxious smile of his face. To her dismay, it did not.

"You jerk!" she yelled. "Making fun of me after I practically poured my soul to you!" You think I like having my feelings yanked every which way?" She looked down. "Confused out of my mind one minute, crying the next, and now angry as hell! You think it's funny?" she demanded, noting the smirk that still sat on his features, a lingering reminder of the embarrassment she could not hope to erase. "I'll show you funny." Kaoru lifted her free hand in preparation to cuff him, but that hand too was taken from her control as the object of her irritations nimbly stole it from the air.

Kenshin's face now hovered above her own. Glaring up at him with greatest hostility, she sought her mind for any and all escape techniques. To her horror she could not recall even one.

_Or maybe..._a voice taunted, _you just don't want to get away._

One of Kaoru's eyebrows twitched in annoyance. _Will they never shut up? _she groaned silently. Her mind was brought back to the present as Kenshin spoke.

"Please, do not misunderstand," he soothed. "The reason I brought you here was not to cause you distress."

"Could have fooled me," she spat bitterly, "Giving me the scare of a lifetime, only to find out it's some kind of sick joke." She knew it was a harsh thing to say, she hadn't even given the swordsman a chance to explain, but the feeling that she had made a fool of herself for his enjoyment was stronger than her feelings of compassion.

After a couple moments of uncomfortable silence, Kaoru worried that she may have angered him. She let her eyes drift back to his face. To her surprise, it now carried a softer, more reserved grin. His eyes watched her with something she couldn't quite name, which unnerved her. Kaoru suddenly felt the goosebumps on her hands shoot up both arms to her shoulders and across her back. This reaction happened so quickly that it caused the breath to catch in the young woman's throat.

"Please forgive my rudeness," he requested quietly. Too stunned over her body's strange responses, Kaoru simply watched his face loom over her own, a very different paralysis spreading out to her limbs.

"I am just...so relieved," he said thankfully. "Relieved that you said the things you did." Still unable to move, Kaoru could do nothing but search his face for some kind of answer to his behavior. She thought she saw Kenshin's eyes flick over his shoulder for a split second, but before she could confirm it, he had drawn her away, under one of the trees' flowered canopies.

* * *

"Hey!" Megumi exclaimed. She covered her mouth at her outburst and gave Sanosuke a remorseful look. When she was sure no one had heard, the woman whispered furiously to herself, "Why did they leave?"

Sano rubbed his chin, turning the thought over in his mind for possibilities. "Why is he bothering to get out of sight? I mean, there's no one here besides—" His eyes enlarged with sudden understanding.

"Shit." He smacked his forehead irritably.

"What's the matter?" his companion asked urgently.

He didn't look down at her as he said through gritted teeth, "That damned...he knows we're here."

"What?" Her head whipped back to the space in the bushes. "You can't mean...oh no. No, no, no."

"Yeah, the walk, the detour into this god-forsaken...he's been trying to lose us this whole time." He blew air through his teeth in frustration. _We can't get any closer now that he's made up his mind to stay hidden. Stubborn bastard. _"Damn him...ruining all my fun," he muttered. He turned to leave.

"But why?"

Startled out of his angered daze, Sano looked back at Megumi questioningly.

"Huh?"

"Why would he go through so much trouble? If he knew we were following him, he could have just stopped; found another time and place, so why...?" Utterly perplexed, Megumi looked up at him for a response.

Sano tried to hold back a smile at the fact that, for the moment, she was relying completely on him. It was so...abnormal to see her as anything but irritatingly sure of herself. At the confused frown on the doctor's brow, he noticed she was still waiting for him to reply. Not wanting to disappoint (and not sure why), he thought hard, hunting for an answer that made at least a little bit of sense.

"Well...maybe," he scratched his head, "maybe he's been holding this in as long as we know she has. Longer, even. Perhaps he can't wait anymore." he didn't wait to see if the woman would criticize his insight; he walked ahead, back up the path.

What he didn't see was Megumi glancing back at the empty site where Kenshin and Kaoru had been minutes before, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I didn't think of that..." she said.

* * *

Kaoru now stood with her back against the trunk of the tree, Kenshin in front of her. With cherry blossoms now surrounding the two, everything was given a soft pink hue, making the scene seem much more...heavy. Kaoru gulped. It appeared as if the air had gotten thicker as well.

Breath confined, body immobile, mind blank, it was as if Kaoru's entire being was hanging on these moments. Finally Kenshin spoke.

"Something was...left unsaid before. For that I apologize, Kaoru-dono." His eyes fixed on hers, locking her stare with his. It seemed as if he was about to break some terrible news to her.

"What I had wanted to say earlier, I..." he hesitated. Then he laughed ruefully to himself, and his tense stance eased. He looked back at her.

"I want to stay with you too."

Whatever she had been expecting, this definitely wasn't it. She struggled to find her voice again. "Then why did you say...?" she managed to choke out.

"That's the problem, Kaoru-dono," he said. "To keep you totally safe, I cannot be here. I know this as fact. But," he said, just as Kaoru opened her mouth to interject once again. "Just because I know that this is something I should do, it does not mean I want to do it."

Kaoru stared at him, still not completely grasping what it was he was trying to say.

"But how could I possibly ask that of you? 'In spite of the harm I could potentially bring, let me stay here, for no reason other than it's what I wish'? It would have been ridiculous..." He looked away, as if disgusted with himself.

In a lower voice, he added, "I think the only explanation my conscience has allowed me to remain here as long as I have was my promise to you. As long as you wanted it to be, I would continue to reside here."

At this, a scene from an earlier time came back to disturb Kaoru.

_"This is all because of...because of...!"_

_"Me?"_

_He didn't think that meant...?_

As if he could see her thoughts, Kenshin continued, "When you told me I—when you told me what was troubling you, I thought you had...renounced that agreement." He stared at her grimly. "I honestly did consider leaving a moment ago."

Kaoru inhaled sharply. Seeing her reaction, Kenshin's serious appearance instantly softened. "But then, with a reason no better than my own," he smiled, "you said, 'I just want to be near you.' The very thing that's been on my mind. The very thing..." he trailed off.

"The very thing...I think I wanted to hear the most." He looked down at her, his gaze lingering on each of her features in turn: her hair, her mouth, her eyes; as if wordlessly expressing his appreciation for being given the privilege of seeing them. Kaoru's throat locked up again.

He sighed regretfully. "It seems that I've grown selfish in the time I've been here." With that, his smile broadened, in a half apologetic expression. "Selfish enough as to love this happiness I've found in such a way that I never want to let it go." Kaoru couldn't tell if her heartbeat had sped up to an impossible rate or had stopped altogether. Kenshin's voice lowered to an almost inaudible whisper.

"Ever."

The breath in the young woman's throat had, by this point, begun to work again; however it seemed the only thing she could do with it was take small, quick breaths, breaths that did nothing to still her irregular heartbeat.

_Wh-what the hell is this? My hands are shaking, I can't breathe right...if Kenshin hadn't propped me up against the tree..._

_Kenshin._

_He did this! Did he plan this?_ She thought of the unusual, yet not unappealing look on Kenshin's face.

_What did that mean? _His words came to mind an instant afterward, and her face began to throb with the heat that rushed to it.

_What did that mean? _She lifted a trembling hand (she assumed Kenshin had finally gotten the sense to let it go) and pressed it to a burning cheek in an effort to chill it. It was like she had suddenly caught fever.

_And here I was, let down that he'd never said anything romantic to me before. _Almost delirious with confusion, she had the unusual urge to laugh out loud at the passing thought. _This is like something you'd find in one of Tae's novels! Where the girl and guy are alone and he starts talking about his feelings toward her. Haha, it's almost like he just said...like he just said_— Kaoru gasped with shocked understanding. Her hand dropped to her side.

_It's like he just said..._

_"I'm in love with you"_

Wrapped up in her own thoughts, Kaoru hadn't noticed the hand that had freed hers was now under her chin. Cool fingertips brushed her skin and gently tilted her face to make Kaoru's gaze level with his. She swallowed, once again rendered motionless.

"Forgive me, Kaoru-dono, for pulling your emotions in yet another direction."

And before she could comprehend what he meant,

his mouth was on hers.

* * *

Back at the dojo, the ex-spies sat dejectedly on the wooden deck that surrounded the building.

"What do you think they're doing back there?" Megumi asked gravely, trying to stir conversation. Ever since they had exited to forest, both had been oddly silent, disappointed that after all their trouble they had not been able to witness what was going on between their friends.

"Snoggin' their brains out," Sano answered casually, not even bothering to move his head from its position cradled in his hands. "Oh come on, you were thinking it too," he accused, noticing her wince.

"Hmph. You always put things so crudely," she said with disdain. "It's hard to be around you without being disgusted." She hopped off the place she was sitting. "I'm going home," she said, swaggering to the gate.

_One day, woman. I swear..._he threatened. The tall man half glared half grinned at Megumi's conceited bearing as she crossed the yard: her nose slightly up in the air, long hair trailing in the wind behind as her hips swung with their own self-importance.

Sano's ears reddened faintly. He shook his head vigorously to send it away. _Jeez, next thing you know, I'll be taking her to the woods. _The thought made him cough on a laugh. _Yeah right.

* * *

_

In the past, Tae had told Kaoru a great deal about the wonder between couples that was kissing; in excruciating detail, actually. She told her about fireworks, the mind going empty, and the way your body is supposed to go limp in your lover's arms.

This, however, was a completely different experience.

For starters, Kaoru's mind was far from empty. The moment their lips had touched, her brain had gone from blank to spinning out of control.

**_Wake._**

_**Up.**_

_This is not happening._

_There's no way Kenshin would be...doing this to you. He wouldn't whisk you way to be alone in a forest like in those stupid books Megumi and Tae always read. He wouldn't talk about the way he feels about you. He wouldn't—_

_He would, _the voice from before interrupted.

Kaoru would have screamed in frustration at this point...that is, if Kenshin wasn't currently obstructing the section of her face that contained her ability to speak.

_Damn it! Give it a rest, will you? Why can't you just accept that I might not feel that way about him? Why can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE? _she exploded inwardly.

_Are. you. **stupid?** _the voice shot back with equal force. _You think we just popped out of nowhere? _

_You...didn't? _Feeling immensely foolish, for that had been precisely what she had thought, she immediately calmed down.

_We are you. All these doubts, all these voices, all these feelings...they're yours. Don't you get it? We can't let it go because you aren't letting it go._

_Wh-what? _she stammered, taken aback by this new notion.

_You know what he meant when he said he didn't want to leave you. Hell, he's kissing you right now. He is in love with you. And guess what? You aren't pushing him away. What do you think that means?_

_I...I feel the same...?_

Clarity.

_I...feel the same._

It was as if light had poured through an open door in Kaoru's mind.

_I feel the same._

No uncertainty. No fear.

Understanding.

She thought she heard a sigh of relief from her guiding voice as this realization was made.

"Kaoru-dono?"

The girl's eyes (which she hadn't realized she'd closed) flew open to the sight of Kenshin (who she hadn't realized had broken the kiss) watching her carefully. She instantly averted her gaze to the ground.

"Are...you all right?" he said unsurely.

_I should say something, _she thought, her discovery fresh in her mind. She lifted her eyes to meet his as she parted her lips to speak.

"Kenshin, I— hey, what's the matter?" she queried, aware that his face had gotten a shade paler as she stepped towards him.

"Ah...no, nothing at all," he replied.

"But—"

"I believe we should be heading back now, that I do," he broke in hurriedly. He began to back away.

"What the—?" She watched in confusion and surprise as he turned and walked out of the shade. "Hey, wait..." His back disappeared behind the curtain of cherry blossoms. Kaoru ground her teeth. "WAIT A SECOND!" she yelled. Kenshin stopped.

"O-oro..." he said nervously.

"You can't possibly think you can just walk away after all that!" she shouted, marching up beside him. "What is wrong with you?" His face was turned away from her as she edged closer. "You can't even look at me..."

When he didn't make any move to respond, she lifted an eyebrow. "Am I that bad a kisser...?" she said thoughtfully to herself.

"Wh-what?" Kenshin yelped, practically jumping away from her.

"Oh my, did I say that out loud?" she said with mild surprise. Regaining her annoyed expression, she asked, "Well? Am I right?"

Kenshin looked at her in bafflement and coughed nervously. "N-no...I do not think that is the problem."

"Then what's with you?" she demanded. Suddenly she noticed his face looked different. Unless her eyes were deceiving her, it appeared to be a shade of...red. "You can't be...embarrassed!" she said with shock. "It's a little too late for that, don't you think?"

"Ah...well," he said as he ran a hand through his hair as he searched for the words. "It's just I...never thought I would be able to...you know, do this. I still can't believe I did. I guess the magnitude of it all is finally hitting me." He laughed good-naturedly. "I don't know what to do next."

Kaoru smiled back at him. "And you thought you could just leave without wanting to know what I think?" Before he could answer, she took a step forward and grabbed his hand. Kenshin's eyes widened as he looked down at their newly entwined hands. "Now, before you get all freaked out again, I want you to know something." This time Kenshin's gaze lifted to stare at her face with the same wide-eyed look from a moment earlier. Her smile grew. "I know I can't say it with pretty words and all, but I just want you to know...I feel the same way."

Not wanting to let the silence grow and make the scene even more awkward than it already was, Kaoru cried cheerfully, "Let's go home, Kenshin!"

Being dragged by the arm behind her, Kenshin was shaken out of his daze. "O-oro...if you felt the same way, then why did I have to be the one to...?"

"I only realized it just now. And besides, it's a well-known rule that the man is supposed to be the one to confess to the girl, idiot," she said matter-of-factly.

Kenshin sighed, beaten. "I am getting the feeling that you only just made up this rule..."

Kaoru laughed. "Is it all right that I'm making it up as I go?" she said, looking over her shoulder. At this, he couldn't help but smile as well.

"Yes...I suppose it is."

**THE END.

* * *

**

The end. Such emotional words, huh? Anyway, thus ends my first Ruroken fanfic! All right, at the end of books or stories, the author is supposed to give some sort of background on how this story came to be, right? Well, here's how my fic came into existence:

One, magical night, I was sleeping in my bed when I was awakened by a bright light from my window. Opening my eyes, I beheld a glorious, shimmering body of light! The figure then proceeded to tell me not to be afraid and that I had been specifically chosen to write this story. Giving me the blessing of inspiration, the angelic entity disappeared. I immediately arose from my bed sheets and began to jot down the ideas that flooded my brain into my trusty notebook. And thus, was my story born.

Well...maybe not quite like that.

I guess the fact that I just FINISHED A STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME is making me loopy. Extremely loopy. Ignoring the fact that it is almost three am, I'll tell you the real story of how I thought up this fic:

One night as I was tossing and turning in bed, thoughts and ideas and memories rolling around in my mind, a particular scene kept appearing. The scene was of Kenshin and Kaoru standing under a magnificent cherry tree in full bloom. And then my mind got to thinking, what would they be saying, what would they be doing? As I thought more about this, the story just kind of unfolded itself. The story was becoming so detailed, that I could not possibly keep it to myself any longer. I hopped out of bed and began to write it all down.

And that's the real, true-to-life story of this...well, story. Y'know Kenshin's, and later Kaoru's, line "Is it all right that I'm making it up as I go?"? Yeah, pretty much my feelings as I was writing stuff down and revising it and having pretty much no clue except a big ass cherry tree thrown in.

Did anyone notice that the title really has nothing to do with the story? Yeah...it was supposed to be a line that Kenshin said near the end of the story. Like, Kaoru would be about to say she like him too, but then he'd stop her, saying, "Nothing need be said, Kaoru-dono" because he already understood her feelings. I thought it was cute at the time, but then I realized, dude, the girl has to throw that guy off balance at least once or twice. He can't always be the calm and cool one.

Haha, a lot of Sano/Megumi hints made throughout the story. I am in favor of that couple, though I am sad to admit that I do not plan to write a fanfic solely based on them as of yet. I have so many other ideas I want to work out...before I die. Yes, I'm that slow.

I think I might have mentioned this before somewhere, but Kaoru's whole problem with the "voices in her head" could be taken for schizophrenia...wow, the things you think of after you can't change anything.

In some of my earlier drafts of this chapter many of Kaoru's lines had been ripped straight out of other manga I had read. I know I know, bad me slap slap, but it was quickly changed. "Don't say you're leaving because of me!" (a kind of revised version of a line that Rosette says in Chrono Crusade vol. 6) was changed to "How can it be for the best if you're not with us?". I think a couple lines from Fruits Basket were thrown in there somewhere, but I forget what they were exactly.

Now, on the climax. The kiss. Well, well, what shall I say about it? The first time I've written about one...even though I've never had one myself (isn't this sad? pretty much living vicariously through my fics)...which is probably why I failed to go into much detail about the one in the story. Yeah...it's starts...and then, just as abruptly, it ends. Hey, I don't wanna be advertising false information here. One thing I did want to convey in Kaoru was her complete and utter "**holy hell.**" type thought process when it happened. Unlike SOOOO many fics I've read nowadays, I didn't want her to be all like "omg, his mouth is warm...and like, omg I think I like this. Kenshin, sweetie, I love you!" No. HELL no. From what I get from the manga and parts of the anime I think that she's the kind of girl who doesn't like surprises. Especially these kinds of surprises. Just my own opinion, don't come knockin down my door if it doesn't quite match up with your own.

About the ending. Well, now that Kaoru finally gets a clue as to what's going on, she starts acting pretty normal again. Cheerful, whack Kenshin now and then, and then, added bonus, playful flirtatiousness now...I guess. And that pretty much wraps it up.

To everyone who's read this fic and who will read it in the future, THANK YOU. Maybe I'll see you next time, maybe not. But either way, your support is and always will be greatly appreciated. Until next time!

--Jack


End file.
